The Zero

So, my name is Ahmed. Ahmed Ajil. I’m from Iraq originally. I came to Switzerland with my parents as a kid. I lived here most of my life with a few phases abroad. And now I live here with my… actually I’m living now in a flat with my daughter half the time. And yeah, so I’ve been through a few things, experiences, which I would like to share because today I got up very, very sick and coughing a lot. Like this kind of cough where you feel like you’re stabbing yourself in the chest. And I decided to fully embrace it and see the sickness as an invitation to surrender and to observe where that surrender takes me. And it took me beautiful places. So I’m still, still very sick, but I feel the urge to speak, to share, because things I might be able to formulate might help somebody out there.

Um, also because I realize that Ahmed, the one… my, let’s say, the person that is speaking to you now if you want to see it like that, um, has a lot of communicative abilities which are very beautiful. He learned a couple of languages and he, he likes to, to speak to people. And so I’d like to let him speak, or use him, Ahmed, as a, as a vehicle to, to describe where I’m standing right now. Um, the place I call the center. And describe what it feels like, what I see, and what these things mean for the human experience, for the challenges we might face in this human universe, on this planet. Um, yeah, hoping that… not hoping actually, I just feel the urge to, to share it. That’s where, that’s where I’m coming from today.

So this place is a place I came to, I found on the 20th of December last year. I would like to delve into the details of that experience at a later point in time, but for now I would like to just call it as the experience that got me back. The, the experience that helped me remember and take me to where I am today, to the place from which I am speaking. It was an experience that… there were two phases, one experience was on the 20th of December and the 24th. And there were many, many beautiful souls were involved in that experience, and I’m incredibly grateful for all of those who participated in it at the human level. All these beautiful beings who, who were there to, to hold me, um, when I fell, to, to just be there with me. Yeah.

And so the place I am speaking from is a place of, of love, of infinite love. A place where there is no friction. A place where… a place that is infinite. Um, and a place that is incredibly, infinitely merciful. And that place is the center of everything. And being in that place and being lucky enough as Ahmed to be stuck in that, in that spot, in the center… first I thought I might forget about it, I might lose it, I might get entangled again in, well, the games, the number, the numbers game which we are all playing on this human planet, but it didn’t happen and I’m still there. And that’s incredibly beautiful, and all I am doing from here is observing. Observing mercifully with, with mercy inhabiting my entire being. With mercy being the only thing I am and through which I see the human experience.

And I also, I have to say that the… I’m in a very privileged situation because the structure I find myself in is conducive to that experience. Because I worked a lot over the past years, and now I am lucky enough to be in a place where I have the space, the time, and the, the patience, and the absence of too many distractions from, um, that place. And so I was very afraid that these distractions might make, might take me back to, to the world and to, to pain and suffering, but they didn’t and I’m, I’m still here. Yeah.

Um, and so I decided to record that and to share it with you. Uh, do with it whatever you would like to do with it. If it doesn’t resonate, um, let it go or listen a bit more and ask yourself what it is that doesn’t resonate, and ask yourself where that resistance comes from if you want to. But if you don’t, it’s perfectly fine. As I said, it’s infinite mercy the place where I’m allowed to stand right now and from which I’m allowed to speak and share this with you. I see it like an instance of sharing what I like, as if I was standing in a room and talking to you now, perhaps you’re standing with me in the same room, and then most of what I say will resonate. And if you’re not standing with me in the same room, you can either choose to just listen and remain curious, or you can just decide to walk away. Everything is perfectly fine.

And that’s the beauty of it. There’s no, there’s no resistance in this place, there’s no friction either, because this place, if it is, since it is only love, it is also pure acceptance of everything that is, of the isness of things, of the isness of the moment, and the nothingness of things. Because in this place nothing is, I like to see it as the, the zero at the human level. It helps me remain centered because the, the zero is the only number I… it’s the number that, that came to me through that experience, and, and it’s an equation actually that I go back to whenever I feel doubt, which I have had a little bit on a few occasions, but really much less than I thought. I thought I would be at some point estranged from the equation, from the essence. I thought that I might forget, that’s what I said earlier.

But as I was going through that experience, um, there was a voice that came back again and again and said, uh, in Arabic said, “rah arja’ athakrak. rah tinsa u rah arja’ athakrak.” And it means you’ll forget. You’ll forget but don’t worry, I’ll be back, I’ll be back to remind you. And it was, that sentence was full of mercy and full of love. Um, and it remained, I remained there and it just, it just gave me the, the confidence to say, “hey, you can go back to, to life and I’ll be, I’ll be back to remind you.” And it has been reminding me every day ever since. And it gets stronger, um, with every day. Also through the interactions I have with other humans, other souls. Um, and I’m just incredibly grateful for these interactions which, which help me learn more about it, the center, learn more about love, learn more about the nothingness of things.

The equation I was talking about earlier is that X… X being anything really in algebra, multiplied by zero equals zero. And it’s very simple and trivial. Um, but it can be helpful for the human mind. At least it’s helpful for, for Ahmed. Because what it says is that if you, if you are the zero, then anything you do… that’s the multiplication operation… anything you do with anything out there in the human experience, if you are the zero, then that thing will become zero as well. It’s a very simple truth, um, but if you look at it, it means that if you find the way to the zero, you don’t have to get entangled with the Xs, because X can be anything really. It can be your job, your idea of what you want to be, your… it can be a painful experience, it can be certain fears. It can be anything really, but if you look at it from the center, then it can just flow through you without any resistance. And that’s the, the beauty of, of the center, of the zero, of nothingness.

And once it can flow into the center, into the zero, with no obstruction, with no resistance, with no friction, it can also come from there. And so from the zero, anything can be. Because in the zero everything collapses. It’s as if this was the only point in the entire universe to which things will gravitate. Because it’s the most powerful one. No X out there can, can have the same power. There’s no version of the universe in which everything gravitates towards some X. But there’s, there’s the only version… there is one version of the universe where everything, or is the version of the universe where everything gravitates towards zero.

And so if you look at things from the point of view of an X, things will seem overwhelming because there’s an infinity of Xs out there. There’s an infinity of things you can do in life, identities you can claim for yourself. Um, there’s an infinity of jobs you could do, of money you could have, there’s like… it’s never ending. Maybe you know the feeling perhaps of, from your job where you feel like just it’s, it’s never ending and I can, it doesn’t feel like I can just stop it, there will always be more work the more I do. So there’s some form of restlessness in that space. But from the point of view of the, of the zero, um, that, that restlessness doesn’t exist. Because that point, the zero, is also… because everything collapses in there, it’s collapse of time and space of everything. And especially in human terms nothing has to be and everything is perfect already. Um, because from the point of view of the zero you can look at all the Xs and know they will eventually gravitate back to you. You know that this point is the divine almighty because that’s what will hold everything at the same time. There’s no other X, there’s no X out there that could do the same thing.

And so that’s why I see this zero as being, well, it is… you’re very free not to believe it and it’s perfectly fine. And I’m just trying… so the thing is also the zero doesn’t have a voice, right? The zero doesn’t have a sound, it doesn’t have colors, it doesn’t have whatever it is, it’s nothing, right? And so whatever I’m doing now, whatever I’m saying is already a distraction from the essence. Is already a deviation from it. And so, um, that will always generate friction because I’m saying something and you will hear it in a certain way. And the only thing that counts is the way you hear it. When you look at something, the only thing that counts is how you see it, what you do with it. Especially because your, the way you look, your gaze is already directed by you, so you choose what you see. Always. You choose what you hear. You choose what you want to understand. And if you listen to the things I say from outside the zero, they will, they might sound strange, they might sound, they might generate friction, they might generate resistance. But I would just invite you to look closer at those feelings and where they’re coming from. Yeah.

And so, yeah, other characteristics of the zero: I said infinity, I said mercy, no resistance, no friction, collapse of time and space, also disappearance of past and future, because there’s no, in the now there’s no past and no future. Since everything collapses into the zero, the past will also collapse, the future will also collapse. And so when you stand in there, in the zero, nothing else matters apart from the now. And the now is the zero. The now is the center. And the now is love. Yeah.

And if, uh, if you’re into monotheistic religions, into Christianity or Islam or Judaism, in the end the essence of all these religions is the same. It’s the oneness of God. But the mistake we’ve made with these religions is thinking about God as being something that’s outside of us. Although there are many places in the scriptures which remind us that God is closer to us than our jugular vein. God is behind my breath, behind my voice, behind my thoughts. Right. The essence is there in the religions. But a lot got packed into it that also serves as a distraction. And it’s natural because whatever we do, I mean as humans we are limited by language, by words, and all we do is exchange letters, exchange words to try to make each other understand what is happening in our inside, right? And, um, and that generates misunderstandings of course. Uh, yeah.

But at the same time, nothing should ever make you feel, nothing that I say should ever make you feel like something is wrong, because from that place everything is perfect already. There is no duality in oneness. There is no good or bad. There’s no mistakes because everything that happens happens for a reason from the point of view of the center. Yeah, so maybe I would like to conclude with that for the first episode, give you bits and pieces of what it looks like from the center and yeah, invite you to, to embrace it. To embrace it. There’s no point in resisting it. And you can if it feels good, but resistance rarely feels good. So yeah, take it, look at it, look at what it does. Because in the end, the place that I’m talking about is inside each and every one of us as human beings. We all have it. We just forgot. So keep that in mind, um, sending you abundance of unconditional and infinite love. Peace out.